Disobedient, wrong, foolish, bad... These are just but a few words many people, some I have thought to be my friends, have used to describe me, my actions, and my choices. In my mind, it's wrong to be this quick to judge another with such hostility. I am not saying it is wrong to have some of these feelings; we are all humans and have the right to our own thoughts and actions, whatever they may be. In a time where essentially no mortal to my knowledge knows the truth and many things are still to be learned of, no one should be belittled or shamed for acting out as a human. Who am I kidding though, nothing will change until there is some sort of revelation. I imagine my reputation is tainted and that I am viewed as infamous.

I have decided to take out some of my stress by fighting what demonic creatures are left. Since sacrificing myself during those marcs to Drakon, I have felt much weaker physically as well -- I guess it's killing two birds with one stone. If I am to be politically exiled by the Queen and cannot find refuge in either Ethucan or Kilican, there is no telling where she will send me or what I will encounter. Ideally, I would wish to return with one of my old crews at sea, but it is doubtful such places would even have a port.

For my training, I returned to the N'Rolav desert of all places despite my intentions of never returning there. Many turns were spent there looking for the pieces to create my lockpick. I guess now that I've found them all I see the place a bit differently. As I was previously getting to, I encountered Aryana briefly. It was reassuring to see her face and to exchange words. Before her departure, she spoke of going to Jeffrey's for drinks. I declined however, as I thought it would be of my best interest. Being curious by nature, I did slip by and peek through the window unnoticed.

Not even a marc later, I received a missive from B. Maybe she noticed me due to the fact that she invited me as well, but I did not ask. I could not resist temptation once again, that time I entered however; somewhat disguised I guess. Some recognized me I could tell, but to my advantage they did not acknowledge me. I entered in the midst of Isoyami telling his story and viewpoint of the battle, which was lovely to hear.

To everyone's surprise however, the Queen made an appearance part-way through. Naturally, I began to tense up, but not act out. She had numerous drinks, as did many, but stayed quiet up until the climax of the story where she called Iso's account as mere "opinion". A vocal quarrel started of course and went on for nearly a marc, ending in a few chilling words of the Queen and her departure. The eight of us: Isoyami, Aryana, Brisingr, Edward, Falx, Bibi, Zanaan, and myself, are not to visit the castle at Caer until further notice. I had no plans of visiting any way, that would be such a mistake. What did echo in my ears is that further disobedience would result in removal from HER kingdom.

I have so much more to write about, but I do think it's best to save it for another time.

S.D.

The Demon Lord Balthazar has been defeated, though the conflict of emotion continues, and it is furious as ever. Only time will tell if my actions were mistakes or what exactly they were, though now is not the time for me to write much, as my heart still is racing vigorously. For now, I'll attempt to exile myself and seek refuge -- it is probably the best thing I could do.

Shadow.

Well, here we have it. The turn we attempt to siege the Dark Lord's Fortress. As I write this, I am sitting among at least three dozen adventurers of various profession and skill in the Caer Throne room. I cannot quite pinpoint how I feel, I'd like to say that I am ready, but that I cannot be certain of. If I make it out alive of this assault alive, I am sure I will have plenty of stories to tell and write about.

Last turn, there was a marvelous ceremony to ready us of what is to come. It was wonderful to see so many friends come together, share their thoughts, and provide comfort. To the surprise of most, the High Cleric, Shamson, made a brief appearance and offered prayer. I myself spoke briefly, it was an honour for him to be there whilst I expressed my thoughts. I figure it would be wise of me to jot down my speech after the fact:

"This certainly is the most enduring turn of my life. Like many of you, I am not sure how to feel exactly, though I know all these emotions I am experiencing are oh-so powerful. What I do believe however is, that if we all march in solidarity, showing no fear whatsoever, we will succeed. There is no telling what will come, though I pray that the light of the Gods will shine upon us and lighten our paths in the coming times, whatever they may be. I pray for the safety of my guild-kin, friends and loved ones, those taking part in this potentially vicious assault, and most importantly, all of the citizens of Valorn as a whole. We must show the Dark Lord and his forces that will not be quashed or subdued, only victorious!"


For now, I have very little left to say, as Queen Cordelia has just arrived. We shall see what is to come; if I do not survive, hopefully it will be known that I have exhibited the utmost effort.

S.